It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
