google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
