The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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