Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
