Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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