She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
