So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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