remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
