so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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