WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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