mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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