goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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