so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.