Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she told me i tasted like america
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
