Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want to make out with him forever
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
