that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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