By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
