Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
