omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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