remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
