ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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