FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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