She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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