It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
