Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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