And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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