What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
