1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
