she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
