All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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