I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
