i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
