All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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