why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
