I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do vagina's smell?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
