it hurts more in the daytime
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Then you guys just all showered together...?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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