I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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