it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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