so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
