I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
