He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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