He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
