I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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