Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize