We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
