who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We left the knife in your bed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
