Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
