Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
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