they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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