So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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