I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
