we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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