Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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