i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
