she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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