Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
