dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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