I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I will be naked everywhere
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
