It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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